Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Last Days

Today is my daughters last day of 7th grade. Last days are exciting to me! Last days are first days for the next adventure. I just can't wait for the old adventure to end, but then when it does, I get bummed.

We have not been happy with the middle school that my daughter has been enrolled in for the past two years. After much prayer my husband and I made the decision to enroll her in a small private school. I have been counting the days down until this year was over. So far 7th grade has been the worst school year ever. She has struggled emotionally, spiritually and educationally. Every day brought new drama, tears, anger, frustration and a HUGE attitude. My abilities as a parent, or lack of, have been tested every day. There have been days that working late seemed like a huge blessing.

But today, the last day of 7th grade at this school made me tear up. It is bitter sweet. God blessed us with two incredible teachers this year. Both of these teachers loved my daughter, not because they had to, but because God called them to be a teacher. Both of these teachers have taken this to heart and have been obedient to God. They have loved my daughter unconditionally and believe me that can be very hard some days.

Today begins our next journey. She is not happy about the end of her current journey and she has shed many tears. Last night she sat on my bed and begged us to make a different decision. Keep her with her friends at her current school. My heart is tender today. I am questioning our decision, questioning if we really heard from God, questioning if we will scar her for the rest of her life pulling her away from all of her friends, questioning if she will forgive us, questioning if she will move forward spiritually, questioning if she will try at the new school, questioning if she will make new friends, questioning if they will accept her, questioning if any of this will really make a difference.

Each one of us, as parents, try to make the best decisions possible for our children. We research, pray, talk to friends, counselors, teachers, pastors, read books, listen to sermons and so on. We do everything possible to make the best desicions. But at some point we have to fall on our knees and throw up our hands and give the decision and our child completely over to God.

Do you really trust God? Not what you say with your mouth, but do you really trust God? This seems to be the question that was placed on my heart today. Prayerfully consider this question. This has given me something to ponder for the rest of the day.

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